Wanting to get more out of our weekly therapy sessions is a thought that has probably crossed many people’s minds. But psychotherapy is a gradual process, and so it takes some time to see changes that we are working hard for. Nevertheless, if there are a few things to focus on to amplify our therapy experience, these might be it:
Questions to ask ourselves?
Before attending a session, asking ourselves the reason behind this choice is invaluable.
“What is the reason I am attending therapy sessions?” The answer to this goes beyond “I want to feel better” and “I want to not feel like this anymore” because while these statements are fundamentally valid, they might not help us understand how we can make the best use of therapy. So, a better way to phrase the question could be:
“What do I want to get out of therapy?” Trying to answer this question as specifically as possible might help us find out the direction we want our mental health journey to go.
Sometimes, trying to answer the question “What is the reason I am attending therapy sessions?” in a general sense and being specific about our answers for what we wish to get out of therapy can help us prepare for our first session too. Most therapists ask these questions during the first session, and this way we might feel more prepared to answer this question during the session.
Small Steps We Can Take Between Therapy Sessions
Journaling our thoughts between sessions:
You may have seen countless posts on journaling, maybe purchased journals or journaling templates too. This is truly a valuable tool for our psychological wellbeing, but we don’t need to purchase an expensive journal or template for it to be effective (if we don’t want to spend money on it). Using a simple notebook to keep track of things we remember from our therapy session, practising the between-session activities we discussed during sessions, and keeping track of what we were feeling and why throughout the week are all ways for us to find patterns in our behaviour and why they may come up.
Between-session activities/Homework:
This is not regular homework; this is cool homework… (remember Mean Girls?) Okay, but seriously speaking, between-session activities are not school homework but are things that become coping tools, emotion management tools that we can use when we are overwhelmed. These activities can either be added to our skills toolbox or also help us understand ourselves better. Doing them consistently is a valuable way to start practising psychological life-skills while being supported by regular sessions with the therapist.
Feedback:
Therapy is a collaborative process, and the person taking the therapy sessions is not only receiving therapy but is also deciding the structure of the sessions. Occasionally giving feedback about whether the client is seeing changes in themselves, whether therapeutic methods are working for the client or not and if there is any possibility of changing the direction of therapy if possible. This can be an effective way to also understand compatibility between the therapist and the client attending sessions (sometimes, the therapist might not be the right fit for the client).
Small but consistent action plans:
When we join therapy, we want to achieve a lot in a short time. Many people reach out to a therapist when they have exhausted all their other options, so we become frantic to reduce the distress we are in as soon as we can. But unfortunately, it can take a lot of time to work through our struggles, especially if we have been going through it for a long time. In such situations, small and consistent changes are more valuable than inconsistent but large-scale changes in behaviour. As an example, it may be easier to maintain consistency with sleeping early and going for walks rather than setting a goal where we sleep early, wake up really early, go to the gym and do a hobby regularly. In this case, starting small and being consistent helps build a routine we can maintain and also builds confidence in ourselves.
Empathy and Kindness:
This may sound trivial, but most of us hardly show any kindness or empathy towards ourselves. Therapy is a process that does require patience, consistency and lots of effort, and it can be natural to feel critical about our progress and goals we are achieving in therapy. In such cases, empathy and kindness towards ourselves help us put things into perspective: how much effort we put into making changes in our life, how far we have come and how much further we can go. These are two practices that sound easy to practice on paper but are very difficult to do in reality.
For most people, therapy is a big step towards our mental wellbeing, and we naturally want to make the most out of it, but if it is the first time we are reaching out to a professional, things can be daunting. Preparing for our sessions, asking questions (a client is paying for a healthcare service and it is well within their rights to ask questions) and putting in small but consistent efforts can be really beneficial.
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