Note: This blog post is not a replacement for therapy or other interventions. The information I share here is based on research papers, articles, chapters, and my experience as a therapist. However, what I write here may not address your specific questions or concerns, since this is generalised information. Please do reach out to someone for assistance if you believe you need it. We deserve all the help and resources that we need!

Self-talk: the act of using words directed at ourselves, either out loud or quietly in our mind (inner speech). Self-talk can influence our emotions (both positively and negatively), our motivation level, self-confidence, self-esteem, and decision-making (2. Brinthaupt & Morin, 2023). You may have read about athletes using self-talk to motivate themselves during stressful situations, performers talking to themselves before their shows or entrepreneurs using self-talk as a way to navigate through anxiety-inducing decisions.

Self-talk isn’t a new, shiny measure used by people in the present times. Self-talk has been used in therapy as Self-Instruction Training, which itself draws its foundation from the works of Lev Vygotsky and Aleksandr Luria in the 1950’s on the relationship between language and behaviour(4.Lopez& Silverman). (1)Self-instructional Training is part of cognitive behaviour therapy and can be used to change unhelpful thoughts and beliefs while helping them develop new self-instructions and new behaviours; this was developed by Donald Meichenbaum.

Types of Self-Talk

Different sources may list different types of self-talk or self-instruction, but they can generally be understood to fall under these categories:

Positive (self-respecting) and Negative (self-critical) Self-talk:

They are the most commonly known self-talk patterns. Usually, positive self-talk (words of encouragement, affirmations) involves increasing positive feelings about ourselves or the situation. This can include words of encouragement (“You can do this”, “I am a strong person”) or gently encourage ourselves to do something (“You just need to write this one email; this is so easy for you”).

Negative self-talk is generally frowned upon because it involves words that are reminders about our shortcomings (“You mess things up all the time”, “I am of no use”) or are meant as reminders to avoid something (“What’s the point of participating, I will fail anyway”, “, I don’t need to make a fool of myself by going”) among other things.

Instructional and Motivational Self-Talk:

These self-talk patterns are less talked about, but are equally important to know. Instructional self-talk is more specific, task-based, and helps in telling oneself about what steps we need to take to reach a goal. For example: “I need to sit down and start writing a draft of the article so that I can edit and publish it tomorrow”.

Motivational self-talk is more general and intends to encourage the person through self-directed sentences. Example: “I can do this; this research paper will be a valuable addition in my field. Just two more days of work and I will be done.”

Note: The chart below has additional information about Instructional Self-Talk and Motivational Self-Talk.

Is self-talk unrealistic and ineffective

Self-talk can seem unrealistic for some people. Many researchers talk about unrealistic negative self-talk and how it can affect us- negative self talk are not based on facts. But some may argue that neither is positive self-talk. Often, positive self-talk can be motivating, but there are times, especially when people find themselves in the trenches of despair, that positive self-talk can feel unrealistic.

Someone who is stressed out may find positive self-affirmation (which is a type of self-talk) unrealistic or sometimes distressing because it may make them confront how far off their reality is from what they are telling themselves (“Everything will be fine” may sound unrealistic to someone who is extremely unsure about what their future holds after a job loss). Sometimes, people may experience unrealistic optimism and confidence that hinders their actions, too.

Negative self-talk can also affect our self-esteem and sense of self; constant negative self-talk can undermine our confidence in our actions. But a research paper also highlighted something strange (Kim, et al., 2021):

Positive self-talk can lead to false confidence, whereas critical self-talk can enhance performance by helping people see it as a challenge or making them more alert to potential negative outcomes, at least in the short term.

It could mean that while negative self-talk does not have an overall helpful impact on us in the long run, finding a middle ground in mixing motivational positive self-talk and critical self-talk can help us instruct ourselves. It is equally important to note that while being critical may help performance, too much of anything is not helpful- most people may become habituated with constant self-criticism, which does more harm than good.

So, Does this mean Negative Self talk is good?

No… this is the short answer.

Here is the longer answer… Self-talk that is leaning towards self-criticism can have prominent negative effect on the brain than the possible positive effects that happen with self-talk that encourages self-respect. Not only that, but our life satisfaction can play a role in influencing the negative and positive effects of self-talk (4. Kyeong et al., 2020).

So, while self-criticism can help a person in the short term by improving attention or by trying to avoid any bad outcomes through that negative speech (many times, people share that negative self-talk prepares them for the worst-case scenarios), among others, the long-term effects are harmful.

Here’s the thing- for some people, saying, “I can handle everything perfectly”, might not seem realistic, and any setback may make them doubt themselves more. For some others, saying, “I am completely worthless”, might make them demotivated before they even begin. But saying, “I get overwhelmed about what to do next in a project, so I need to write down a plan to follow for the next two days, so that I don’t mess up again. I can do this”, could be more self-aware, albeit still a self-critical form of self-talk.

Here we would be combining what is called Instructional Self-talk and Motivational Self-talk, and while the words sound self-critical, they are still self-respecting.

Self-talk can be beneficial to help us fulfil goal-directed actions, especially when we become aware of what we need to do to meet our goals. It would be easier to instruct/motivate ourselves to sit and study when we know we have to study a particular subject to maybe reach a goal of getting good grades in our exams.

References

1. “APA Dictionary of Psychology.” Dictionary.apa.org, dictionary.apa.org/self-instructional-training.
2. Brinthaupt, Thomas M, and Alain Morin. “Self-Talk: Research Challenges and Opportunities.” Frontiers in Psychology, vol. 14, 3 July 2023, https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2023.1210960.
3. Davis, James. “Distinguishing Types and Tiers of Self-Talk for Performance Enhancement | Journal of Character and Leadership Development.” Jcldusafa.org, Journal of Character & Leadership Development, 2025, jcldusafa.org/index.php/jcld/article/view/319/566.
4. Kim, Junhyung, et al. “The Effects of Positive or Negative Self-Talk on the Alteration of Brain Functional Connectivity by Performing Cognitive Tasks.” Scientific Reports, vol. 11, no. 1, 21 July 2021, http://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-021-94328-9, https://doi.org/10.1038/s41598-021-94328-9.
5. Kyeong, Sunghyon, et al. “Differences in the Modulation of Functional Connectivity by Self-Talk Tasks between People with Low and High Life Satisfaction.” NeuroImage, vol. 217, Aug. 2020, p. 116929, https://doi.org/10.1016/j.neuroimage.2020.116929. Accessed 19 Jan. 2021.
6. Lopez, Barbara , and Wendy K. Silverman. “Self-Instruction Training.” Encyclopedia of Behavior Modification and Cognitive Behavior Therapy, 2005, https://doi.org/10.4135/9781412950534.
7. Singh, Priyanshi, et al. “Harmful Words: The Influence of Negative Language on Self- Esteem and Mental Well-Being.” The International Journal of Indian Psychology, vol. 13, no. 2, 2025, https://ijip.in/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/18.01.055.20251302.pdf, https://doi.org/10.25215/1302.055. Accessed 17 Nov. 2025.