Psyche Bubbles

Note: This is just a write up of my thoughts

What makes us so critical about emotions like jealousy, anger, sorrow? A lot of times I have heard statements like, “I should be happy”, “I should stop feeling so sad or low” to legitimate taxing life events. It is almost as if there is a limit- a very narrow one- to how long a person can feel sad, low or angry. Now don’t get me wrong, I agree that there are times when these emotions do have an effect on how we function but to bottle them up just for the sake of ‘functioning’ is not always the best route to take. There is nothing innately wrong with being sad or angry or jealous and it can be beneficial to address and process them.

One of the emotions that seem to get a bad reputation is anger. This is one of those emotions that appears to have a destructive streak either for the self or others. But let’s be real, who does not feel this frantic urge to scream or break stuff from time to time. What stops us is the consequences of those actions. But that does not mean that the emotions themselves are wrong. In fact, once you acknowledge anger and then establish the cause it becomes easier to deal with that.

One can say the same about sadness- an emotion that sometimes makes you want to force yourself to be happy. Sadness and grief are a part of your emotional journey just like happiness. There might be things happening in your life that are making you need to cry it out, stopping you from doing work because you feel so low or making you not really want to reach out. Sometimes they are unavoidable and ignoring the underlying sadness only makes it worse- crying it out, giving some time to yourself to stay with the sadness can sometimes help to move ahead with life.

Jealousy is a complex emotion that comprises other emotions like insecurity, anger sadness. Jealousy usually ends up making people miserable because of underlying feelings of insecurity and a tendency to compare themselves with others. It is surprising how simply accepting that one is jealous can to an extent open the gates for further processing these thoughts of insecurity and comparisons.

Indeed, the above-mentioned feelings are not directly related to growth and fulfilment but they help when they are processed and the underlying issues are addressed. Imagine this situation –

“You are heating a pot of water and accidentally end up holding the pot with your bare hands. The pot isn’t too hot for the reflex action to kick in but it is hot enough for your brain to register the sensation. Now the sensation of increasing heat and discomfort is a sign for you to withdraw your hand. You see, the sensation of heat might not feel pleasant but the intent is to alert us about further damage.”

In essence, instead of trying to push away the unpleasant emotions, it is necessary to acknowledge them and then make informed choices to work on our thoughts and circumstances. This way we can know more about what would help us avoid similar predicaments in the future or at least help manage these emotions better.